I haven’t wrote about anything in awhile. It’s not because I don’t want to, rather, it’s something along the lines of writer’s block combined with an emotional-purpose of life meltdown. I’ve been feeling guilty about not writing or posting anything spectacular (or semi decent) so I need to ramble about my thoughts a bit to find a new path.
Before I begin, I have to complain about this itchy, hot wrist brace I am wearing because the doctor diagnosed me with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. After every sentence I type I pause to adjust it and persistently tell myself not to take it off. (As for the wrist issues, I will be okay as long as I take my medicine and wear this brace for a month.)
So. Deep breathe.
I am looking for my passion and trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do in life. I want to figure out what it is that I truly want for my life. I have many dreams and wishes. You could call me a dreamer. I want big things in life and I expect them to happen. The reality of it all is that I need to figure out what I want most because many of my dreams contradict each other. I need to focus my motivation on only a few of them at a time so some of them can actually come true.
Here are some of my passions, or powerful emotions towards things. For the sake of finding my real passion, I will not limit my thinking to what I (or someone else) will presume to be unattainable.
- I want to become a Foreign Service Officer and work at embassies around the world as a Consular officer.
- I want to be a photographer for a magazine like National Geographic or a photographer for my own big-named, inspiring blog.
- I want to be an excellent interior designer and make every room in my house have the most beautiful atmosphere ever.
- I want to own my own farm with cows, ducks, and honeybees. I want a large garden and a barn full of well taken care of cats. I want a dog or two. I want to make our own amazing organic spices, sauces, and products out of our own raw materials. This hobby will turn into a fairly large business.
- I want to own two homes; one in Michigan and one in western Europe.
- I want to be entirely fluent in French, Spanish, and several other languages.
- I want to be well known for piano and vocal performances, even if only in a few towns because I performed at the local coffee shops.
- I want to be “free” from my emotions and more in tune with my body through many long mediation retreats.
- I want to figure out the meaning of all my dreams. (Physical (?) dreams that I have while asleep.) I intend on finding hidden truths about life in some of them.